Choose Your Level of Non-Commitment
Three tiers, zero actual fitness. Pick the membership that best suits your desire to not work out. Questions? →
Prices are shown in EUR and include 21% Dutch VAT.
MonthlyYearly
Most Popular
Premium Procrastinator
Start tomorrow. Forever.
€5/mo
Includes 21% Dutch VAT
What you get:
- ✓Everything in Couch Cardio
- ✓Premium tier badge design
- ✓Priority in doing nothing
- ✓Extra satisfaction points
What you don't get:
- ✗Still no gym access
- ✗Still no fitness coaching
- ✗Still no workout classes
- ✗Still no actual exercise
Elite Non-Athlete
The pinnacle of motivated inactivity
€9/mo
Includes 21% Dutch VAT
What you get:
- ✓Everything in Premium
- ✓Elite badge with gold trim
- ✓Unlimited bragging rights
- ✓Peak non-achievement unlocked
What you don't get:
- ✗Definitely no gym facilities
- ✗Absolutely no fitness services
- ✗Zero workout programs
- ✗No health improvements guaranteed
⚠️
Important Disclaimer
No Sweat Club is a novelty entertainment membership only.
This is NOT a real gym membership. You will NOT receive:
- ✗Access to any gym or fitness facility
- ✗Personal training or coaching
- ✗Workout equipment or programs
- ✗Health advice or medical services
What you will receive: A digital membership badge and the satisfaction of being a "member." That's it. This is a joke product. Read our Terms of Service for full details.
What You Get vs. What You Don't Get
✓ What You Get
- ✓Digital membership badge
- ✓Unique member number
- ✓The satisfaction of being a "member"
- ✓Bragging rights (sort of)
- ✓Zero workout obligations
- ✓Easy cancellation
✗ What You Don't Get
- ✗Access to any gym or fitness facility
- ✗Personal training or coaching
- ✗Workout equipment or programs
- ✗Fitness classes or group sessions
- ✗Health advice or medical services
- ✗Any actual fitness results